I find myself on many nights, lying awake and wondering what it must be like not to have to be afraid. When viewed as a snapshot, other people seem to have such idyllic lives. It must be so nice not to have to struggle financially, like Tom? If only I had an amazing family, like Joe. The truth is, when viewed against the seemingly endless string of reasons to fear that you experience in your own life from day to day, all of these people and their experiential Polaroids are infinitely more well-off. The question is, is this assumption a valid reflection of the truth?
It is easy to cherry pick certain aspects of other people's reality, and be envious thereof. But, on closer inspection, one might have to rethink one's initial assessment. Let's take Tom, for instance. Here is a guy who owns a beautiful home, with all the mod cons you could want. He has a great entertainment area, and makes great use of this. You want to be invited to one of his parties as he pulls out all the stops. You always leave his place thinking how wonderful it must be when money is no object, and always being envious that you can't do the same. However, in reality, Tom's house as well as pretty much everything else in it is owned by the bank. It will take him 20 years or more to make it his own. In order to afford this sort of lifestyle, Tom works a 60 hour work week. He has no choice. As a result, his relationship with his wife suffers and his children only see him on weekends. While Tom can kick back at a party, his stress levels are usually through the roof. To compensate, Tom has a few drinks every evening. Over time, one glass becomes one bottle at a time. Tom is now an alcoholic. Most people will agree that, at this point, there is very little left to be envious of.
At the end of the day, you are the only person you need to be able to live with. Chances are good that if you are able to live in peace with yourself, those closest to you will be able to as well. Life is not lived in bits and pieces. It is lived as a whole, where some parts are more pleasant than others, and where you take the salt with the sugar. The truth is that if everything always went well, life would be exceedingly dull. You only learn something by making mistakes and correcting them. You only grow through adversity. Character, as it turns out, is honed by hardship. There is no manual or map that can guide you through life unscathed… But then that is the point to it all, isn't it? The next time I find myself on the verge of a panic attack at 3 AM, I'm going to remind myself that, in life, the bad is there to help me appreciate the good, and that sometimes the good can make it all worthwhile!
