Out with the old and in with the new.

It's 10 o'clock on the last day of 2010. I couldn't see in the New Year without saying goodbye to the old properly. What a rollercoaster ride it's been! It's only fitting that I give this last year a worthy sendoff. Where to start? January seems an eon ago.

I started this year with hopes, dreams and ambitions which would necessarily make it better than the one before. I suppose, for most people, this is what you do every year. Of course, for me, the highlight of 2010 was always going to be the FIFA World Cup... yeah, for me and for 40 million others! This year, it might surprise some to know, will go down first, for me, as one of incredible healing. Don't get me wrong – going to the World Cup was a bucket list event. However, I'm days away from saying goodbye to the pressure sore that has kept me bedridden for the better part of a year and a half. As if this wasn't enough, I do believe that I've finally reached the place of closure with regards to my last relationship. I might have said this before, I'll say it again: 3 and a half years is about frikkin time!

Christmas, 2010, will go down as the first truly merry yuletide in 6 years. Instead of the episode of Jerry Springer that I've gotten used to, this year turned out to be filled with loving family, moments to be cherished and memories to last forever. I was filled with the most incredible sense of gratitude and hope. This, to me, is what Christmas is all about. As an old friend put it so cynically, Gift-mas, is much more than a typo. Sadly it's a reflection of the society we're all a part of. For me, however, this year's event has helped restore my faith.

I suppose I have to say that, in accordance with the up and down nature of the year gone by, the year-end has not been entirely uneventful. For the last three days I've been dealing with a digestive tract that is chosen to go thermonuclear on me. It has not been pretty! My apologies to anyone who reads this with an overactive imagination. So, here I am with auld lang syne on my mind and less than an hour to go. To all my friends; thanks for being so supportive, thanks for being there for me and, probably most of all, thanks for putting up with me. To my amazing family; I love you one and all more than words can say or science can measure – you're all my inspiration, my raison d'être,.

As for resolutions, I never usually make them. My hope is that the New Year will bring new adventures, new challenges, new friends – perhaps even the reappearance of some old ones. My journey through this life has taught me enough to know that things are surprising, sometimes disappointing but never truly boring. It is, after all, the unexpected that keeps us guessing what exactly life will throw at us next. Fake it 'til uou make it, remember that the sun will come out tomorrow – choose your cliche but always remember: never give up, never throw in the towel. The night is always darkest just before the dawn. As for me, I'll hold on to the words of 2 Chronicles 15:7 – "Be strong and do not give up, for your work will be rewarded."

For the frustrated, the bored, or for those looking for a whole new kind of drug...

Someone like me is forever looking to expand the boundaries that life places on me. It is with this mindset that I embarked this week on something I've never done before. For five days now, I've been on a fast. To most people, this would imply starving oneself. Fasting necessarily involves sacrifice. Besides the obvious health issues, I really wouldn't miss food all that much. What I do –, and have – been missing, since Monday, is television. Keeping up-to-date with current affairs, watching my beloved football, these are the things that are staples of mine in any given day. So I've foregone them in an attempt to connect with Him who truly matters.

The first few days were tough. I spent a lot of time in prayer, reading my Bible, and whenever temptation grabbed me, meditating on Christ. Just when I began thinking I was making a total fool of myself, I tried an evening of prayer and worship with music blaring. Guess what? God showed up!!! What he said to me was this: you need to trust me, you need to submit yourself to me, and you need to lighten up and let me in. I have so much I want to give you, so much love, so much grace – why won't you let me? While I'm still waiting, and trusting for more, I am extremely excited. I know so many people going through the toughest of times. All my experience has taught me is to try and convey to them this much; hang in there and truly believe. So many of us want to pretend that we are the masters of our own destiny. So many of us seem to think that it's only up to us. I was one of these people. I was so wrong.

Today is Friday. I'm fasting until Sunday night. Now that I'm sure that God truly listens when I call to him I am all the more determined to hear from Him. Tonight, once again, I'll be cranking up my music and putting my off-pitch voice to the test. Tonight, once again, I will earnestly pray and ask Him how to best go about hearing His voice. I used to care what people thought when I told them that I was a Christian. I used to let people intimidate me into keeping quiet about my love for Jesus. Never again! This is my life, this is my truth.