Someone like me is forever looking to expand the boundaries that life places on me. It is with this mindset that I embarked this week on something I've never done before. For five days now, I've been on a fast. To most people, this would imply starving oneself. Fasting necessarily involves sacrifice. Besides the obvious health issues, I really wouldn't miss food all that much. What I do –, and have – been missing, since Monday, is television. Keeping up-to-date with current affairs, watching my beloved football, these are the things that are staples of mine in any given day. So I've foregone them in an attempt to connect with Him who truly matters.
The first few days were tough. I spent a lot of time in prayer, reading my Bible, and whenever temptation grabbed me, meditating on Christ. Just when I began thinking I was making a total fool of myself, I tried an evening of prayer and worship with music blaring. Guess what? God showed up!!! What he said to me was this: you need to trust me, you need to submit yourself to me, and you need to lighten up and let me in. I have so much I want to give you, so much love, so much grace – why won't you let me? While I'm still waiting, and trusting for more, I am extremely excited. I know so many people going through the toughest of times. All my experience has taught me is to try and convey to them this much; hang in there and truly believe. So many of us want to pretend that we are the masters of our own destiny. So many of us seem to think that it's only up to us. I was one of these people. I was so wrong.
Today is Friday. I'm fasting until Sunday night. Now that I'm sure that God truly listens when I call to him I am all the more determined to hear from Him. Tonight, once again, I'll be cranking up my music and putting my off-pitch voice to the test. Tonight, once again, I will earnestly pray and ask Him how to best go about hearing His voice. I used to care what people thought when I told them that I was a Christian. I used to let people intimidate me into keeping quiet about my love for Jesus. Never again! This is my life, this is my truth.
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