What is a true friend? Yeah, I know, it's a bit like asking: What's the meaning of life? A hundred people will more than likely give one a hundred different answers. It is, however, something I've been thinking about lately. The difference, in my instance however, is that I'm wondering how I can be a true friend to someone else. You might say to me, do unto others as you'd have them do unto you... hmmm. Well, that would be sage advice, unless...
Okay, let me start at the beginning. A couple of weeks ago, someone re-entered my life. A friend who I'd last had contact with many years ago. This was a very welcome surprise, and like a couple of schoolgirls, we busied ourselves with catching up... more than a decade's worth. It is incredible to experience life through the eyes of another, especially someone you have such a storied history with. Memories, memories, and more memories. We virtually grew up in each other's homes. But, as is inevitable, ones life never shadows anyone else's. My path led to paralysis, struggle, academia, love and heartache... and so many other things that shaped me. The most important event for me was, of course, the discovery of my identity in Christ.
This was the most incredible moment of freedom I had ever experienced. It also clarified many questions I had had since childhood. Issues regarding purpose, role, and of course all the do's and dont's. For someone like me, boundaries were a welcome thing, considering the path I had been on. By my nature, I'm a guy who loves --- fiercely and completely! Whether you're my lover, my friend, or someone I just met, I will trust you until you give me reason not to, I will care for you even inspite of you, in short, I will try to think the best of you. Call me a hopeless romantic or a deluded fool but, by all means, call me. So, getting back to my story...
My friend decides the time was right to confide in me. He's gay. This was, of course, followed by a very pregnant pause. The crickets were chirping, the silence deafening... wow. Now, having said everything that has come before, you might ask me how I felt, right? I'm one of those guys who'll bash you with my Book, filled with it's pummeling condemnation and it's paralysing guilt, right? I'd be lying if I claimed that the thought didn't cross my mind. Looking across at his fear, his obvious insecurity of where to turn, something dawned on me. This wasn't about me. How my sense of morality had felt, sullied or otherwise was irrelevant. He is my friend. He is gay. I might wish that away, but I believe that my "perfect little world" is more than screwed up enough to get over myself. Mate, I love you as you were, as you are, and for better or for worse, I love you for everything you'll be!
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